


The Aftermath

by CamilleDuDemon



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, post-TFA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-28 03:50:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6314221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CamilleDuDemon/pseuds/CamilleDuDemon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I'm not letting Snoke kill you, general.”<br/>Hux grins bitterly.<br/>“That's exactly what I fear.”<br/>“You want him to kill you, don't you?”<br/>“I'm not gonna live thinking about how I failed to serve the Order, Ren. I can't...tolerate this.”<br/>“You are not to blame, Hux. It's not your fault.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Aftermath

General Hux stares blankly at the endless void outside the large windows of the Finalizer.

A week ago his mission, _his entire life,_ has turned to ashes.

The Starkiller Base, _the jewel in the crown of the First Order,_ is gone forever, shattered into a million pieces floating in the same void he's staring at.

The fine piece of engineering he was in command of is now gone, _destroyed, pulverized_.

The general's eyes are bloodshot and swollen, due to a whole week of sleep deprivation. He's slowly getting all skin and bones, for he's not sure he has eaten more than twice since the Starkiller was gone.

Brendol Hux II is a broken man who's trying to pick up the pieces of his glorious life, now reduced to a mere pile of ashes and waste by the filty Resistance.

He's a disappointment to the First Order, to his father: whatever punishment Supreme Leader Snoke is planning to inflict him he's gonna take it gladly – _even if the Supreme Leader would decide to take his life –_ since the burden of such a failure is too much to take for his weakened spirit.

After all, he was in charge, so it's up to him to take all the blame.

_After all, that's the natural state of things: you rule, you pay. Whether the fault is yours or not._

General Hux, whose green eyes are now staring at the darkness of the Space, thinks he has nothing left to live for, in the end. It would be better for everyone if he pointed a blaster at his temple and shoot... _at least it would be better for himself._

 

“You shouldn't be thinking about such things.”

Kylo Ren's voice seems to come from the depths of a cave. Hux slightly curls his lips in an attempt of smile, suddenly ripped out of the gloomy stream of his thoughts.

“And you shouldn't have left your bed to sneak into my mind without consent, listening to my deepest thoughts. See? We both suck at pursuing what's best for us.”

The knight's big hand gently squeezes Hux's skinny shoulder. Unknowingly, the general leans into the touch, letting Kylo Ren's feverish warmth soothe the turmoil in his head.

“You should sleep, general. And eat.”

“You should mind your business, Ren.”

“I'm sure your health is my business.”

Hux shakes his head, intertwining his fingers with the knight's.

Kylo Ren's wounds are healing slowly and he has still a fever, but at least he is alive.

The general clenches his jaw at the thought that Snoke will probably push him too far, as soon as they land on his godforsaken planet, saying that the experience of physical pain hardens warriors.

“Don't worry, general. I'll survive, as I did with my previous training.”

“Why are you still eavesdropping, Ren?”

“Can't help it. Your thoughts are loud.”

Hux shrugs.

_Now you have my permission to listen._

Kylo Ren's response is a confused look on his newly disfigured face.

“Hux...”

“Just listen.”

_If Snoke would sentence me to death, promise me you will never jeopardize your loyalty to the Order. Don't blacken my memory with betrayal, please: it would be as if you killed me twice._

The knight's eyes widen. They are soulful, too soulful for a creature of the darkness like he claims to be.

They are full of pain, terror, anger.

“I'm not letting Snoke kill you, general.”

Hux grins bitterly.

“That's exactly what I fear.”

“You want him to kill you, don't you?”

“I'm not gonna live thinking about how I failed to serve the Order, Ren. I can't...tolerate this.”

“You are not to blame, Hux. It's not your fault.”

Kylo Ren pulls him against his chest, warm arms wrapping around his emaciated figure.

Hux sighs, careful not to touch his stitched hip with his body, but trying to relax in his embrace.

_Do your magic trick, Ren. Put me to sleep. I just want to sleep._

The knight shakes his head.

“You don't want to sleep. You want to die.”

The general inhales deeply Kylo's scent.

Something musky mixed with the awful stench of medical supplies and a sour hint of blood.

“Yes, I do”, he whispers into the taller man's broad chest, his eyelids starting to feel heavy.

The knight is caressing the back of his head, pale skin against bright orange hair.

He will carry him to his room and rip this conversation from his mind, erasing it forever from Hux's memory.

He will wipe out every single trace of sick thoughts, every ounce of self-disappointment and regret.

Because, although he's too proud to say it out loud, Kylo Ren loves General Hux like he has never loved anyone before.

“You are not a complete failure, general...”, he whispers at his freckled ear.

Hux cannot hear him, though: he has already fallen asleep.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
